Here’s the thing about compliments. Accept it but don’t drink the kool-aid.
Ego is a terrible thing. Because it makes you think that you are better than what you can do. I will admit that some periods, ego exists in my head like a bad plague in the bible.
And the scary thing is once we peg our self-worth to ego, letting it go is difficult. Because it feels like you lost yourself. After all, ego means “I”. So it’s about balancing the ego, to both love the “I” but not be too consumed by it.
So here is how I deal with it. I’m still learning and documenting my processes as I go along.
Luckily for me, the word humility came to me when I was 10. In primary school, classes were named after various bible words (Faith, Grace, Hope, Humility, Patience, Joy, etc.). My class is called Humility. I didn’t know what it was, and went to search it up.
I have to be honest, I was terrible at humility growing up. Thankfully, I was very fortunate to explore the world, travel around the globe and meet people from all walks of life. In the process, I learnt my shortcomings, I was humbled by people and climbing mountains is the most humbling experience.
Embarrassing to admit, it took me years to finally understand what humility means and then to embrace it. To know where I stand, yet to also understand and remember that I only take up a very small and insignificant tiny little part of the world. That helps me to reflect on this exaggerated ego I have in my head. And slowly burst the bubble and come back to reality.
Be the dumbest in the room
The best method I’ve found is to be the dumbest in the room. And I’m so fortunate to be incredibly dumb in the room. My friends are walking encyclopedias and super google brains. They give me new insights, perspectives and advice that would take me years to get to.
There is a real comfort in being the dumbest in the room. It is also truly humbling (point #1) to remember the gazillion things that I don’t yet know. It helps me to reevaluate and remember where I stand. It’s truly a fortunate thing, to be the dumbest in the room.
Be Real & Reflect
And the real solidifying activity is to be real with yourself and reflect. Realise that there is a ton that I still don’t know. To reflect that I only know a small thing relatively well. And be comfortable with that position.
I have learnt to be very comfortable and enjoy that state. The state of knowing you know a bit, and realising you don’t know a lot.
What I’m Still Learning
At the same time, I realise I’m losing patience with some types of people. So I have to reflect and deal with my ego in that aspect. This happens when I realise I’m not the dumbest in the room. This is something I am beginning to realise. And I do not enjoy my responses nor my experience in such rooms. The solution I’m trying out is “respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment”. I’m finding it challenging, and I’m 99% sure it’s due to the ego in my head.
So in the next 6 months, I’m going to learn to deal with my ego from that perspective.
May I become a better person in 6 months’ time.