There’s a difference when it comes to interaction between 2 people. I call them single-game vs repeated-game. These are 2 forms of games, and they result in various actions or strategies to derive different outcomes.
In single game, the outcome is a one-off experience. Hence, there is less considerations for future moves, just a maximisation of current game. In the dating/sex world, it’s called a one-night stand.
One-night stands are easy. Get to know each other, have sex and not interact again. Since sex is just one-off, the individual likely chooses to maximise their utility (e.g. orgasms) instead of focusing on other things (e.g. emotional connection, the other party’s orgasm, etc). There’s nothing wrong with one-night stands. It is just what it is.
Actions people probably do during single-game:
Basically one acts in their own self interest (aka a rational agent).
- Lie or over-promise. After all, it is a single interaction. There is no obligation to carry out that action, since there is no future interaction.
- Flattery, tons of flattery. Especially superficial flattery, just to get into one’s pants.
- Hear but not listen. Faking an interest in conversations, hence, obviously not remembering anything said.
- Not remembering. If there is no future interactions (or future interactions mean nothing), there is no incentive to remember.
In repeated games, there are more future interactions. Hence, it’s important to consider the overall future moves to maximise every interaction. In the dating/sex world, it’s a relationship.
Even I am confused, as to what a relationship entails. Apparently there are different forms, from non-exclusive, exclusive, casual to serious and long-term. Whatever the definitions is, I’m talking about a long-term serious exclusive relationship. That’s the extreme end of repeated-game.
It takes a different form, since one is not maximising an individual outcome, but the overall outcome. Perhaps opening up and being vulnerable, which results in deeper and closer emotional connection. That improves the sex life, when 2 individuals are connected on more levels than just the physical — emotional and spiritual.
Actions people do during repeated-game:
One acts rationally, in consideration of future interactions. This agent (person) has a long-term orientation for time preference.
- Tell their mamas about you. Because in the long-run, you’ll be part of that family.
- Invest in you and bring you to new heights. In the long-run, both individuals grow and support each other, and achieve new heights.
- Introduce you and shows you off to everyone they know. Because you are going to be significant in these communities in the future.
- Include you in their future. In a way, where they make future decisions while considering you too.
- Remembers. Life is about the little things.
Of course, as there are many types of relationships, the things people do also depends on the types of repeated-game. I think it’s confusing. I can’t wait to be with my future husband, and love him for an eternity of repeated-games.
Learn the difference between a man who flatters you and a man who compliments you. A man who spends money on you and a man who invests in you. Who views you as property and a man who views you properly. Who lusts after you and a man who loves you.
These types of games suck. I hate them.