There is no geographical solution to a spiritual problem
I was listening to a song and it talked about running away. I remembered when I once questioned why I travel so much and if I was unconsciously looking to run away from things. I’m older now with more experiences under my belt so I can say this.
Yes, then, I was probably running away from problems (25%), looking for solutions (45%) and finding myself (30%).
What was I running away from? Growing up, I always felt different and never really belonging in the communities I grew up in. Nothing wrong with that, I just always felt out of place. So when I started to travel, I realised I was connecting more with the people I met while abroad, with open minds and open hearts, curious about the world.
I started to travel more because I was running away from the mundane static life of Singapore. And also probably from the “path” that was laid out — going to university, finding a job in a big company and working your way up the corporate ladder. If there is a personal hell, that is my personal hell. I actually do fear that, working for someone.
At a point, I did realise I was intentionally running away and not looking for solutions. Definitely cut back on my trips and focused on solving my problems before having fun. This principle stayed with me till today too, where I solve my problems before enjoyment and drink only when I’m happy. I love my life.
I was looking for solutions. It was an intentional run to seek solutions elsewhere. The world is a big place, and I’m not spending all my life in Singapore with the community in Singapore. So I started to travel and see what else is out there, looking for my solution.
No doubt, I had tons and tons of fun. Looking back, I have no idea how I did everything — work, study, travel and have tons of fun. But I guess that is the beauty of growing up and being young. I love it.
The solutions came in pieces. Like a video game with stages to unlock and more experience/insights on how to play this game called Life. It took me a long time and I am still learning, but my solutions are clear as day.
Have I found myself? A million times yes. In fact, it was never about finding myself. It’s about choosing the path I want and moulding myself towards that goal. And that is a story for another day.
Lesson learnt: running away ≠ exploring. Running away doesn’t solve problems.