Aligned with my principles on friendship, the dark side to it is that I delete people very often. As the year comes to a draw and I’m reflecting on the quarter and the year, I’m reflecting about my internal self (thoughts, principles, values) and external self (community, friends, networks). During this process, I do a Marie Kondo and remove people from my life. Actively. And it’s okay.
We can only care about so many people. If I have 100 care points, I rather care about 25 people deeply, and each one gets about 4 care points. I’m not going to care about 1000 people, each getting 0.1 care points. That is stupid. I do not have the patience for that.
I no longer have patience for many things. This is not arrogance. I do not wish to waste time and energy on issues that do not positively benefit me and bring me to new heights.
Have High Standards
Always have high standards for yourself. Because that’s how we improve and strive to become better.
And in this process, those that are not able to keep up with the standard falls behind and out of the care zone. And that is okay. Not everyone will be with us on every chapter in life. Some people only exist for some chapters and segments in life. It took me a long time to realise that.
That is why whoever that comes up to my standards are in a tight circle of care. These are people I love with all my heart and I will protect at all cost. I’m grateful for these friends, and how much value they bring to my life. I care so deeply about them, and only want them to be happy.
Little Patience for Incompetency
Anyone who personally knows me understands that I hate incompetency. I hate it because incompetency does not only affect that individual, but also others that rely on the tasks done. I have little patience for incompetency, laziness and stupidity.
There are 7 billion people in this world. There are plenty of strangers that I have yet to make friends with, 7 billion stories I have not heard and 7 billion unknown that I want to make known. I do not need to surround myself with incompetency, when there are talents waiting to be discovered.
I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.
Delete & Declutter
I first learnt that some people are not meant to be with you on your entire journey through life when I moved to Hong Kong. I realised some friends only exist because you see them 5 days a week. Without seeing them, there’s no reason to stay in contact.
As I continue to grow and evolve, I realised some people did not change while I changed. And there was no reason to hang on to the struggling friendship. The only reason it still exists is to reminisce the past. Some times, the past is not worth reminiscing, and the friendship is deleted. And it is okay.
You end up with the Best People
At the end of the day, it’s okay to delete people. It’s okay to delete friendships. It’s okay to remove energy-drainers and time-wasters from your life.
Maybe it’s heartless, but you know what, those that truly are “my kind of people” stay in my life for years and years. You’ll be surprised at how many of such amazing people you can find!
These are people that I will die for. These are people that I will drop everything and take a flight to wherever they are. And I’m very fortunate to have a handful of these most beautiful and wonderful people that the universe has ever seen.
They are my constant inspiration. They lift my up when I am down. They give me new perspectives to my limited worldview and the unknown.
Every single day, I am so grateful for these people in my life. I can give them so much time and energy because they are worth every single ticking second of my life. I love them. And I’m the luckiest motherfucker to have the most amazing individuals in my life.
I love you with all my heart,