I hate farewells. I hate farewells so much. I am not good at goodbyes. I don’t know how to say goodbye. As such, I never allowed myself to get too attached to anyone, in fear of saying goodbye. Or rather, I am lucky I do not have to say goodbye any time soon. However, being in Hong Kong, I learnt to love people, I learnt to become attached. Without my family here, I found a family that I can call home. I fear the time I have to leave.

Countdown: 8 weekends to my departure.

Seeing one friend leaving after one friend, I know it is my time to leave soon. After the first friend left, I teared for the first time in ages.

Here’s to Samuel.

Samuel

I don’t think you will read this, but if you do, hi, I miss you a lot. Everyday, I look back at my life and you have no idea how much I thank God for allowing me to meet you. I am someone who barely drop 1cm cube of tears in a year, but every time I think about you, I’ll definitely tear. You’re definitely an angel from heaven, you don’t know how important you are to me. Actually, I’m glad you left Hong Kong already, otherwise, I really don’t know how I can say goodbye. It’s really really really tough. You know how pissed I am with you, because we did not have a proper goodbye. You missed your farewell dinner because you missed the goddamn plane again, and then you couldn’t meet me cause I had to work. I couldn’t see you off at the airport too, cause your flight is too bloody early. I hate you for all of that. But I miss you so much. Your nonsense, your yoloness, your adventure spirit. I miss the super crazy weekends hikes with you. I miss the dragging myself out on a perfect weekend, to kill myself with a hike. I miss the crazy dinner; I’m sure no one else in the world will eat that dinner with me. I am so thankful that you are living well in Australia. (Everyone in Australia! Buy the helicopter tours from Samuel!) I never knew Hong Kong was such a a bad time for you in the beginning of the year. I’m thankful the waterfall group make your other half of 2013 so much better. There are so many more things I want to tell you, maybe I should write a letter instead of sending a postcard. I miss you so much. I hope I see you real soon. You owe me tons of presents!

My baby, my big sister, my Sara. Here’s to you.

Sara

I’m so proud to see you alone in Australia. (Australia again). It feels like you’ve grown up, exploring the world on your own. I met you through Samuel, to Lamma Island. Since then, we hit it off really well, talking, laughing and eating. You’re always so cheerful, always carrying your big heart and taking care of everyone. After many hikes, I also met you on the parking deck. I always hate that you have to work on the weekends and can’t stay longer. I hate that you also left Hong Kong too, taking a little bit of my soul with you. My bb, thank you for all the crazy nights, all the hikes, all the events you’ve organised. Your smile, your cheerfulness, your cuteness will forever live in my heart. I love you so much, bb. Don’t say that my ‘family’ went for your farewell. You are family too. It was a family gathering. I hate how I always have to work and everyone flies off during the weekdays. I could not see you to the airport too. Nonetheless, I’m so thankful to have met you. I wished I could see you again in the weekends to come, but I know it’s not possible. I really hope to see you soon, in Australia. This isn’t goodbye, my bb. I want to give you more hugs, like always.

To the one that left just recently, daddy Juong. Here’s to you.

Juong

We met during the camp, and again at Yvonne’s party and then the parking deck. That’s where the family started. I know I haven’t felt it yet, but I know I’m gonna miss you so much one day, when I will walk back home alone. We always walk the same route home cause you live behind me. When one day, I will realise I am walking home alone and I will miss you and your hugs. I am already missing how you always ask us to meet for dinner at your rooftop. Although we have the password, the rooftop without you wouldn’t be the same anymore. I don’t wish for time to rewind and start everything over again, I just hope I have a time machine to go back and enjoy all the moments over again. The parking deck, the rooftops, the crazy things we do. I miss you so much. The family is not the same without you. But it is alright. We made a pact. Our wedding pact. To go to whoever’s wedding in the country when whoever gets married. I know this is not goodbye. I know I will definitely see you again. I know I will be missing you till I see you again. Thank you for the memories. Thank you coming into my life. Thank you for everything. Life without you, I can’t imagine. (also, listening to sad chinese music really isnt helping here)

The Rest

To the rest I’ve met, thank you for leaving your footprints in my life. I can’t wait to see you all again, especially those in Singapore.

8 Weekends Left

Only 3 of the people I love left, and I am already tearing a lot already. 8 more weekends. I have to say goodbye for real, to the rest of my love. I really don’t think I can deal with this shit. To say goodbye to all of you, to turn around and leave. I really cannot do this. Can I just fly away when all of you are working? Sorry I have grown too attached to all of you. Sorry I don’t know how to say goodbye to all of you. Sorry, I love you all so much. 8 weekends left. Let’s make the best out of these last weekends.

xo
These fucking tears need to stop falling. It’s really great to have something that makes goodbye so hard, but it really hurts fucking a lot.