I feel like I’m lost. I lost my drive in living. It’s almost like there is no point in living anymore. I’m happy and that is it. I no longer feel the push to dream big, not ambitious anymore, feels like I’m in a slump. That’s it, I’m in a slump. I feel like I’m making fucking idiotic excuses. I hate that. I hate that I’m like a useless slug now. I want to do so much yet I don’t want to do anything. Where’s the push and motivation? I don’t know.
Pause. Goes back to see old stuff on my social media to remind myself about me. It always works. Let’s see.
Since the beginning of the year, I said I wish I could disappear for 2-3 months and come back already for success. I told the universe that. And the universe gives you what you truly and desperately seek to achieve. Thankfully, I was given endless opportunities to do just that. It was great.
Hey girl, you have the power to do this now. The universe is giving you everything you need & want! The 2-3 months of disappearance, the time and space to focus and do your work, the resources you need and everything you seek. London is a great place to meet people and a city full of opportunities. Keep doing what you’re doing girl. The universe is supporting you. Work, live, breathe Trevellers.
You need a focus. That one thing. That’s Trevellers. You find partners to work with and advertise with you. You reach out to brands. You continue to create and provide valuable details for frequent travellers. Keep providing and giving value. Trust the universe and trust yourself. Set these goals down. And stick to it.
However, this is the path I have chosen. This is what I signed up for. This is what I want and hey, I have gotten it. So, this is what I am going to do. After all, it is 3 months of my life, in exchange for 3 more amazing years and maybe even more. 3 months is absolutely nothing compared to the even crazier life I will be having.
We only see what we want to see; results, success, achievements. Sometimes we forget that there is this “shit hole” everyone has to go through to get to the other side. And now, I am going through this shit hole. The universe is kind. The universe constantly sends me lovely reminders through people and platforms. This is not going to be forever. A few months of hard work is nothing compared to the even crazier life that I will be leading.
In the short run, it always seems boring and sad. But hey, when I am older and connect the dots looking back, I will be thankful for every single boring fucking day. You know why? Because my life will NEVER be this boring ever again.
And about the boring life. I am beyond confident that my life will be amazing and I will be a multi-millionaire. I just want to help the poorer people to start a livelihood and help everyone attain education. The future is so great and exciting, and I can’t believe I am currently being a fucking whiny bitch, complaining about the amazing wonders in life.
Girl, you need a vision board.
Thus, back to the point of inadequacy. Knowledge of tomorrow could essentially displace the knowledge of yesterday. Staying relevant and updated become so important. I have met so many ignorant people, and I am beyond worried that one day, that would be me. One day, all the knowledge will go to waste because there are so many new things coming up. Talk about big data, fintech, algorithms, IoT, and also about development, humanity, geopolitics, growth hacking, behavioural economics, neurology and more.
Also, I spent a fucking long time defining my dreams and creating plans to reach there. Yet, things have changed so fast many plans become obsolete. (Yeah, I totally agree that it is my fault for not capturing the wave.) So hey what’s up, just me being back in square one. But hey, at the same time, I’m never back in the same position. Maybe 1cm better positioning than before.
So I guess the point is, instead of running away from my fear, I will face/am facing it.
I fear that I am inadequate. But hey, I’m one step further than before AND I have tons of real experiences that many people don’t.
I need to start reflecting on the good things in my life.
I also need to shut up and follow my plans. Believe in my plans. Have faith in my plans. DO MY FUCKING PLANS.
Dear Lisa, you know absolutely what you need to do. You know the templates, the structure, the to-do, the tasks. You have everything in your hands – the resources, the materials, the assistance. You just need to do it. Stop that fear of unknown, because no matter what, it will exist. Stop comparing with others. Stop listening to others, even. You have the plan in front of you. You have the materials you need. You can do it. You knew the answers century ago. You know it. It is to work hard and persevere. And I am sure that in a few years time, you will be so much further than where you’ve started. Look how much 2 years has done to you. Imagine another 2 more.
I’m not going to lie, it definitely is not going to be an easy journey. But like what you have always known, you are built for greater things. You are a tough nut that cannot be cracked. You are a survivor. You can do it because you are Lisa. Like what all your friends say when you need help, “you are Lisa. You will be alright”. Yes, you are going to be hella fine because you are Lisa. You are the one that people go to when they need help. You are the one that people lean on. You are the one that people have faith in when everything goes wrong. And it is all possible because you are Lisa. And Lisa makes things happen. See, you are built for greater things in life.
About the unknown, don’t worry. The universe has it all planned out, I promise you. Keep working hard, just persevere. The universe will guide you and you will find your way. Maybe recently, there are too many praises and goodness in your life. You became too full of yourself. You became clouded with successes and goodness that you can’t see the next steps anymore. But it is alright. Come back down to earth. Come back to the hard work. Come back to doing what you need to do. Because you are a fighter, you are a survivor. You can do it. Even a stranger knows that you can do it. The universe has already prepared another universe inside of you to shine in the world!
- No zero days. ‘What’s a zero-day? A zero-day is when you don’t do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I’m not saying you gotta bust an essay out every day, that’s not the point. The point I’m trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didn’t do anything all fucking day and it’s 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero.’
- Be grateful to the three yous. ‘There’s the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you are are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you’ve done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro.’
- Forgive yourself. ‘Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But let’s say you still didn’t do it. Now you’re giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up the champion, being disappointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? So what. I forgive you, previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one’s for you, future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.’
- Exercise and books. ‘Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. When you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). When you exercise you clear your mind. When you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three-legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we’ve all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books.’
Follow that. Also, journaling. Physically. And self-affirming sentences every single day.
Fear is a thing that paralyses you or pushes you. I have to admit that it paralysed me a lot in the past weeks, but now it only keeps me going. I no longer fear time running out, because I know that if I keep doing what I am doing, one year alone can make a HUGE difference. Here’s to all of you out there. Don’t think that time can’t change anything, because I can tell you that time is everything. It’s the answer to all your questions in life; it’s the solution to many problems.
I think I’m fearful. But you know what girl, use this fear to push you. If you fall, you learn. If you succeed, you learn some more. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. One of my favourite quote to date!
- “I think if you’re afraid of something it probably means you should do it.” (seriously my life mantra)
When we talk about my presentation skills, my hard-working attitude, my leadership, my networking/small talks ability, etc; it is ALL thanks to the past me, always looking out for the future me! There is probably no such thing has talent if you do not nurture it. Also, talents can also be created. Perhaps I do have a slightly more vocal personality, which makes it easier for me to present, for me to speak in front of lots of people. However, it being easier does not mean I have a flare/talent for speaking. It is through tons of practice, experience and lessons learnt (through failures) that I am who I am today. As for leadership and personal development, I enjoy developing myself because I want to become the best version of me. So, I read consistently, I practice what I preach and I model after successful people. I also throw myself into situations that are uncomfortable and then survive it.
You’re here today because of everything you’ve done before. It is important to remember that some successes are more than just physical numbers but personal development too! You’re doing great. Fear not, with proper planning and execution, we will do great!
Exactly 3 years ago: Sometimes it gets overwhelming to accept the fact that I, a little nobody that comes to the world, will become a somebody when I leave
As a child, be carefree, be happy, be fearless. Do not let the cynical world tell you otherwise. Do whatever you want. Run, play, fight, jump. Fall down? Stand up and run again.
Back from pause
And that is the importance of journaling. You look back at your growth and learn from it. When I’m down, the only person that can bring me up is just me. I’m thankful and blessed to have detailed my journey as I grow. The challenge I have today is nothing compared to the vast universe. Get your groove on girl! You’re amazing for having to come this far.
Note to self: praise self instead of scolding self!
The next week, other than quality meetings, just shut yourself off and work. Work hard. 3 hours of non-stop work and 45min sleep. Only water. Eat before and after 8am & 8pm. The most difficult part is to get started, well you find that easy, so let’s keep re-starting every day and always be day 1. Just like Milton Erickson and the golf game.
Sometimes we have doubts about ourselves. The world might turn you cynical, but you’re still you. You know exactly what to do and what not to. Do focus and follow the plan. Fuck everything else that is in the way. Come on girl, you can do this!
Bring the real Lisa home.