It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok when we have negative thoughts. It’s ok when we feel sluggish and need a break. It’s ok to want to have a break from everything and everyone.
At the end of the day, we are all humans. We experience human emotions. We have our ups and down. And that is all the experiences that life brings and life continues providing. It is through that do we appreciate the present and make memories more valuable.
One thing I’ve learnt last year is to be ok with being vulnerable again. Tear my walls down. Come back to being me again. It was a struggle but I did it. I found courage to love again. I found comfort in being vulnerable with people I love. I think that has been a great growth.
So now, I just want to experience life. The good, the bad, the ugly. Dark days don’t last forever. The sun will come back and radiate the days. Till then, I want to experience everything life has to offer. The laughter, the sadness, the tummy-hurting-laughter, the loneliness, the courage, the fears, the laziness, the productivity. Because that is what makes us human.
And once I want to experience these and allow them to exist, it has a magical outcome. My fears and negative feelings do not control me anymore. I was… free. Free simply by being ok with not being ok!
I’m grateful for the plenty of experiences and positive experiences that allow me to experience such a rich life. I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve broken down, I’ve stood up time and time again.
2021 is about discomfort. I want to be comfortable with discomfort as I go about scaling new heights and upgrading my life. More often than not, I know I’m going to feel plenty of fear, sluggishness, laziness, loneliness and more. But that is ok! That is 100% completely ok.
In fact, I want to experience them. I want to feel these emotions. I want to be completely present with these moments and feelings. Because they might not happen again! Because these aspects of life are what makes me me.
Honestly, I’m feeling stressed, frustrated, annoyed and a bunch of things lately. I know sex will solve 99% of it. And not having it makes me even more stressed and frustrated. But it’s ok. It’s ok because I have friends to speak with, shoulders to cry on and I have bigger things in life than these little impermanent things. I also know that this is just a phase. And it’s ok to have these emotions. Everything will be ok.
I’m grateful for people in my life showering me with immense love and care.