The craziest thing I have learnt so far is that even the craziest, most impossible thing you can think of has a probability of happening. And isn’t that simply just beyond insane? I can think of me flying on a spaceship, shaped like a pancake and flying to the moon to have sex on that pancake spaceship. And there is an actual possibility of happening. DOESN’T THAT BLOW YOUR FUCKING MIND?
Alright, in all seriousness, you have to realise that everything you can imagine could possibility happen, some way, some how. And that blew my mind.
Since young, I have always thought that I will meet the man of my life, get married in 6 months upon meeting and be madly in love and even death itself can’t do us apart. Someone who is mature enough to understand me, someone who is the same type of crazy, someone who thinks alike but specialise in different fields, someone who sees all sides of me and still stay.
You must understand that I don’t do that type of “slow classic young sweetheart” love story; something like both started of as friends, then became closer, fall in love and then live happily ever after. That’s not my style.
Looking back at my notes now, on 28 Jul 2015, I wrote “you’re just as sane as I am”. And almost 2 years later, I found my type of sane.
My Type Of Love
What I do though, is crazy passionate mad extraordinary love. I hate anything mediocre or average. It has to be fucking hot and madly passionate. A love that burns through the coldest summer, a love where old ladies smile at you both on the streets, a love that inspires others. And the craziest thing is that I have that love once. That was the best moment in my life thus far, and I almost could never imagine another crazy story during my extremely fortunate lifetime. Yet, it happened.
My Type of Crazy
We both had no plans that night yet have time to kill, so why not make new friends over a beer. Little did we know, it was a great night of laughter and endless chats. You know the type of instant connection you get with someone when they are the same type of crazy? When you know exactly what the other is saying, when you just match instantly and you know that this person is 100% your type. You don’t find many of such people around the world, but I am lucky to have met a few. He is one of them.
That night, I went home to pack because I had a flight to catch. He texted, tell me to come to sing with you. Sing? I thought. I don’t have time for karaoke.
No, Sing as in Singapore.
Sometimes I do crazy things, but that was a new kind of crazy. Yeah, why not. I am free from Sunday. And you know a person is the same type of crazy when he actually booked his flight the very next day.
And from that booking onwards, everything just got crazier! Staying a week longer in Asia, talking about us, pillow talks about our lives, talking about future and other plans. Mind you, it all happened within a good 10 days. I mean I am definitely fearful and quite cautious, especially with the previous experience. I am cautious if something is happening too fast, fearful that it is all just us caught up in the moment and not being rational (ah, rationality is everything for an economist).
2 weeks and he puts me in his big life plans. He told his mama about me. He tells all his friends about me. He booked a flight back to stay for a long time. Of course, I am quite fearful. Fearful that it’s all too good to be true. Fearful that with every passing day, I fall too deep for him. Fearful that I’ll wake up and realise it’s just a really beautiful dream and it will all be gone. I took forever to mend my broken heart after ending it with Vale (we’re still best friends) and I guess I don’t know how to deal with that again.
But you know what? That’s the beauty of life. It’s a roller coaster of insanely happy moments and sometimes a trough of extreme sadness. It’s just human. I’m ready to start this chapter with this one and see how it goes. Whatever it is, whatever the 10,000km between us, I am sure we can make this work.
Just like my life with Vale, my life feels like a movie. People literally starring at us when we walk on the streets. I feel like the main character in this movie. When we are at home, he’d be working on his laptop while I read my book with the bedside light before going to sleep. Cuddling to sleep, waking up with gentle kisses, getting ready for work in the morning. Dinners after work, sharing about the day at work, pillow talks till 2am. It’s unreal.
See you in 2 weeks, love.