There are so many things running inside my head. I try to keep up with the 12,800 parallel universes running in my head before I make decisions or say my concluding remarks. Sometimes that means it comes across as rude, but I’ve already anticipated the outcomes and addressed the emotions, to come to this conclusion. That’s why I like staying in my head when I have alone time. It’s just a really fascinating place to be! Nothing like that in the world.
Every day, a billion things run through my head. I’d like to say I am managing them well, but I guess not. Not because I can’t manage it — I love being inside my head — but because it is so hard to explain all these things inside my head. Life is about communication and sharing. Everything is running at the speed of light, and I can only communicate so much. It loses resolution every time I try to explain them.
How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head.
Read this when going through some old notes. Wouldn’t that just be beautiful. So many beautiful crazy things in my head. To share them all with someone would just be so precious. Some things are crazy, some stupid, some ridiculous, some crackpotty. But I like them. I think the best ideas start off as crazy stupid and ridiculous. Maybe that’s why I like being in my head.
And ideas are best when shared with people. I learnt that sometimes, these things are too out there, crazy or intense for an individual to capture them all. I stopped being mad at them, it’s only my fault for not explaining the ideas well enough. The only way is to break these things down into smaller digestible parts and have distributed subsets of people to listen to various parts. Cause that is the best solution, before overwhelming or boring someone.
I don’t know how other people do it. Do they have less universes? Do they think differently? How do other people live their lives? My head gets so overwhelming sometimes and it ends up making me feel quite lonely cause no one understands. It would just be so nice to share these with someone transparently and fully. I am probably just expecting too much from people. Thankfully those project management tools are there for me to break some ideas down, explain to my team and turn them to mini projects so they can work on it. At the very least, I can always find solace in that.
May there be a weird crackpotty person out there, willing to indulge in my crackpot ideas and wanting to listen to all of them. Not just those ready to be executed. At the very least, I can share some of my 12,800 universes with him.