People come, people go — they’ll drift in and out of your life, almost like characters in a favourite book. When you finally close the cover, the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book, complete with new characters and adventures. Then you find yourself focusing on the new ones, not the ones from the past.
With my weekly and monthly chats with new friends, I am just reminded of the many friends that are left behind in my long-tailed distribution. 3 sigma is too much, even for me. Fat 1-sigma tails with higher mean each year. That is how I review my year.
As the year comes to an end, I reflect on the amazing journey this year, and the wonderful people that came into my life. My heart is incredibly full. I am so lucky — and I cannot emphasise this enough.
However, once in a while, I reflect on the 3-sigmas left behind, and wonder about some silly non-existent “what-ifs”. I know that does not exist, nor should I waste my time pondering. But some nights, I go into my time machine and experience those words and memories again. I definitely read too much into the memories, placing more importance on meaningless words, creating some fairytale in my head. In the end, it doesn’t matter. That is not real, and everything is just a construct in my head.
All I can say is that I am beginning a new phase in my life right now. A new book, a new chapter. That means new characters and some side characters becoming more of significant supporting roles. I am really looking forward to the future. And I’m also so excited with all the new friends I’ve made, as we form deeper friendships. One day, I will have a huge party on one of my birthdays, and I will invite all my amazing friends together and celebrate it with me. The mingling of great minds — a salon for Lisa. I’m beyond excited! We’re all growing together, supporting each other as we go. I’m very proud of every character in my upcoming books and chapters.
As for the ones left behind, I’ll spend a few weeks per year reminiscing the past, thinking about them. Not to change things, but to take my time machine and feel it twice. It is neither good nor bad, just an experience in its own right. Some days I think about the people in my past, and I wish nothing but the best and great happiness for them. May they find their own supporting characters in their books and chapters.
To my exciting future. To my very own salon.
Ps: reminder to self to limit the amount of time reminiscing the older chapters and books. It ended for a reason.