I’m erasing you. And I’m happy.
All my life, I always believe that once you love someone, you will always love them. Otherwise what would be the point of love, if it only exists during the fun times?
I decided to watch one of my favourite movies again, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It never fails to make me cry, ever. So many lines are quote-worthy; they remind me of all the beautiful memories shared.
This rewatch, the line that stood up was “I’m erasing you and I’m happy.”
I’ve never thought that you could erase someone, not especially if that person was significant then. For the first time, I wanted to erase someone. This period, I learnt that I could. I learnt that
- it is possible to stop loving someone
- it is possible to erase someone
Because the memories no longer serve their purpose.
This is not a sad thing. In fact, I’m truly happy. Sure, there were bumps along the way, where I had doubts and a biological conundrum. Damn DNAs. Anyhow, I figured it out and solve it.
It’s a strange and odd feeling to accept and acknowledge that one could delete another just like that.
Of all the people I have truly and deeply loved, I still love them deeply. In a family and protective way, of course. They’re always on my mind and I care for them so deeply. (Then again, there is only 2 of them. The others are a different type of love. I still love them though.)
I thought this one would be the same too. Guess this experience proved my hypothesis otherwise. It’s a strange and fascinating feeling, I must say. To stop loving someone.
Perhaps that experience made me realise that it wasn’t love. It was perhaps the idea of love, another definition of love, or maybe just pure lust with friendship. Either way, I know love and that is not love I know.
I’m so calm and at peace inside. It’s simply beautiful.
Love always (hah irony),