75th Percentile

here i am, back from a long trip and sitting in my living room. waltz is playing, candle is burning. there is soft light, cold water and my thoughts and i. i saw this quote and had to share it. this 2 weeks summer trip in europe was yet another annual summer work trip.

the entire trip, i couldnt help but feel like im finally her. the girl ive always wanted to be. i know i am always on my path and not quite there yet. and here i am, living her life. and she’s me! there’s a balance, but right now, im at peace and content. it means im easing into this phase, going to master it and move on again. the last time i felt this at peace was in april when i took a break. and before that, feb during the bbq. but work aside, i feel at peace.

i know i am at this space when i dont crave anyone, im not insanely happy every day, just really calm, peaceful, pleasantly happy, feeling fair. better than average, but not fully happy. 75th percentile, if you will. those happy days are for special and quiet moments like a nice meal, a beautiful sunset, laughter with friends at sunset.

it took a long time to arrive here and i know there is still a path ahead. it’s progress no one understands or knows, and im celebrating it. it took so much from me, too much sometimes. but nothing great ever comes easy, i always remind myself.

knowing what i know now, i have even less tolerance for many things. i still stop to smell the roses at every opportunity, but i also know the cost of my wasted time. i pay to buy time back, and only spend time on things that bring me peace and joy. my currency is time, the only equality of all mankind.

here’s to the present. what a joy. my heart is full.

love,

L