I will never be that “submissive” Asian wife that waits for my husband to come home, take off his shoes and coat, prepare food, serve him and stay home sewing. Fuck gender stereotypes. I’m not a domesticated puppy that waits for him to come home, feel happiness with a little pet on the head. I’m not there for anyone’s entertainment.
Gender equality and respect should be mutual. If I am going to be the woman behind my man, my man better man up and be the man behind me. I’m a human and not a servant or slave to anyone. I am me and I stand up for my values. If we don’t have the same values, it does not mean anyone of us is right, we just have different values. I believe in respect and equality.
I’m going to continue conquering new heights, getting fresh new scars on my body as I go, exploring new lands. I am to be my own version of crazy, creating adventures and making life one unforgettable experience. I’m not changing my entire self for someone.
I wrote this back on 17 Sept 2016. It's been almost 4 years and I'm glad I am still who I said I am 4 years ago.
Fortunately, gender is not something that I see until 3 years ago when the western media is all about it. Thankfully, race was never a significant issue. Above all, people in my life always saw me for who I am and what is inside of me.
I remember getting into many arguments with my dad and the aunts and uncles of the older generation. About becoming wife-material for a(n) (Asian) man.
An uncle even once told me, don't study to get a PhD. Don't be too smart. Men don't like girls who are too smart.
Someone once said that no man wants to be with a "tainted" women. And no man wants a woman who don't know how to do housework.
Boy oh boy.
Thankfully, I am not one who gives a fuck about what people think and say. Clearly I do not speak to that uncle anymore. I also had countless reasoning sessions about "housework" and "being tainted". Lol, a wife is not a maid. A relationship is equal effort. And there is no way in hell am I going to ever deal with someone absolutely new. Practice on the other girls. Then be mine and rock my world.
Of course, I'm always accused of not being "Asian" enough. What the fuck is that even suppose to mean?
Funnily enough, I've had so many people telling me that I am wifey material.
A telling me we've definitely met in the past life and he's going to find me again in the next life. V talking about parenting styles together. E planning our wedding and saying I'm the one he's looking for his whole life. P saying that he did genuinely considers me wifey-material and to tell him when I'm ready to date. K talking about kids. And a bunch of other people telling me about marriage and family and kids (in a not-joking way).
I know what I want in a relationship and family, of which being the "submissive housewife" is not in the picture. Sure, I get quite wifey-motherly easily, but it's because I want to (and am fucking good at is) and not because I have to.
(My curious suspicion is that being a wifey-motherly person is my real second nature. But I decide to kill it since young when I started to learn about more things I could do with my life.)
Well, for real though, the sad thing is that people always think that they are not enough for me. But the world is a big place. I'm sure I will find someone who finally thinks that he is good enough for me and brings enough to the table that we both share.
There is no point to this post. Just a rant because I found my old rant in my notes.
Love,
L