I love paradoxes. I find that they are some form of art I can’t quite explain, but it makes me feel things that make me want to write. This is both a paradox I took 15 years to learn, and a new perspective of life I came to understand.
Paradox
Being a “Type A” person, it is always “I gotta go fucking harder”. Every setback, every failure, every downturn is a feedback to go faster, harder, stronger. It is only in recent 2 years that I am learning to slow down a little and appreciate how far I’ve come. I am so proud of myself, and I tell myself every time.
The weird thing is, people like to perceive them as mutually exclusive. I disagree. I am insanely proud of me, at the same time, never been more focused on what the right execution is. The plan is already in my head, I know where to go and what needs to be done in the macro picture. I’m proud of my micro right decisions to get me ehre, and I’m more excited than ever to go forward with all the lessons I’ve learnt.
Maybe go fucking harder is not about more time or more energy. It really is about taking all the lessons, failures, feedbacks that I have collected along the way, and apply them in bolder fashion. Instead of building Product, I build a base stack with 10 Product Units and scale it beyond measure. That is what harder is. Not to beat myself up, and feel shitty about not being a billionaire at 18 years old.
Life is great. I can’t believe it’s mine!
Perspective
As humanity, we love rags to riches stories, stories of success with fire under our asses. I never understood that, for when you do something due to the love of it will bring you further than the fear of being in status quo.
People do many things out of fear and I noticed that it might take generations of unlearning and introspection to realise the harm of always having fire under your ass. I am comfortable saying I do not do what I do because I’m afraid. Rather, I do what I do out of the pure joy of succeeding and winning.
I’ve met so many people in recent years — I bought a more expensive car so it inspires me to work harder; I have this amount in my bank because it keeps fire under my arse, I don’t know where my drive comes from if that fire is gone. It scares me a lot, to do something out of the sheer fear of what life would be without the fire or something to pull you back.
It is very much like this quote — a fine balance between yes, I am working harder. But also, yes I am amazing for coming so far. It is not mutually exclusive. I don’t think people realise that enough. So many still fear what life is, without that fear of losing, I wonder if they will ever understand the concept of being.
I’m excited to be here. It took a long journey and I’m proud. I’m also excited to see where we’re going. It’s going to be a fun new chapter!
Love,
L