Originally posted on 5 December 2021
I realised I don't talk about the hard times enough. I talk about the lessons I learnt after the hard times. But the hard time itself is worth penning down.
Lesson learnt: monthly cry session.
This lesson is by Kiwi Steve in our recent catch up. I'm so grateful for his friendship. I truly adore him and his no-bullshit support. One thing he recommended, which I am incorporating, is a monthly cry session. I was sharing that sometimes, it gets really overwhelming. It is difficult on some days. And somedays I feel like crying. I don't actually cry, just felt like it. And he said to just cry. I'll feel better. Crying is natural, and totally normal.
And I did. I don't cry enough. Never liked crying — always had to force myself to think of sad situations so I could cry when I was younger. But for 2 separate nights, I allowed myself to feel fully and embrace the stress. Then allowed my emotions to be expressed in forms of tears down my cheeks.
In recent years, now when I cry, it could started as sad tears. Tears of loss, frustration, stress, overwhelm and maybe sadness. Then during the crying session, my emotions slow down and I begin to reflect on what I have now. Instead of loss, what do I have. Instead of frustration, stress and overwhelm, what do I have that caused these emotions.
Every single time, without fail, cry sessions always turn into happy tear session. I loss because I have. I am frustrated because I am in a new stage. I get overwhelmed because every day, I am working towards those goals. They aren't easy, but they are worth it.
So this is what I am going to do more often now. Cry.
''Crying is an exocrine process,'' Dr. Frey explained, ''that is, a process in which a substance comes out of the body. Other exocrine processes, like exhaling, urinating, defecating and sweating, release toxic substances from the body. There's every reason to think crying does the same, releasing chemicals that the body produces in response to stress.''
I like this NYT article on crying. Crying is a process to remove toxins. It also releases hormones to manage stress better, according to Harvard Health. I like using science being my confirmation bias. 🤪
But it's true. Post-crying, I feel amazing. So when does crying stop?
We stop crying when we are comforted. Some are comforted by hugs — I love that when I feel like I'm in danger, which rarely happens. Others are comforted by different expressions of love. So far, my crying episodes are comforted by acknowledging the goodness and success thus far. And when I realised I'm further than where I was before and that I am a little closer to the goals, I am comforted by the fact that everything is going to be alright.
It's a hard time. But it too, shall pass.
And I always end up in happy tears — grateful just to be here.
Everything is going to be alright.