Leave Her Wild

Posted May 2021

Not my poetry, but I read this once in a while.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

And she’s everything you wouldn’t want in a girl. She’s smart, and she can barely finish a book because she’s already planned on what book she wants to read next so she starts to read that book and forgets to finish the other. She’s crazy passionate about the earth and the well being of animals. My god does she love animals. She talks to them as if they could talk back. She cares about people even if they turn her a cold shoulder. She is all for the people and thinks that women should be treated with the same respect as what a man gets. She loves to talk about anything and everything. She’ll tell you about the stars and everything you need to know about dogs and horses. ****She’s the kind of girl you wouldn’t want. Not because she’s ugly because my god she is beautiful. And not just her physical appearance but her soul. It’s the purest and most raw and magical thing you’ll ever see.

She’s the kind of girl you don’t want to touch in a physical way or emotional way. Not because she can’t handle it, because she can. She’s the closest thing you ever get to magic, I mean if you believe in that kind of crap. I sure didn’t until I met her in the coffee shop on 11th street. She was wearing all black and she had the most beautiful brown hair that would fall perfectly in front of her face even when she did pull it behind her ear. Anyways I didn’t touch her in anyway. I just admired her from the other side of the coffee shop. I guess I was a little afraid because I could already feel her existence was something that shouldn’t be messed with and I didn’t wanna screw her up. But I did.

Her brown doe eyes locked on with mine and it felt like magic. Again not that I believe in it in that moment. The point is she’s not the kind of girl you want because she’s everything you could ever want in a “perfect girl” if there’s such a thing.

She’s not the kind of girl you want because when you touch her for the first time it feels like snow falling and everything in between love.

She’s not the kind of girl you want because when you break her heart you’ll see she won’t be the same. She won’t sing in the shower and she won’t radiate warmth from her smile when she looks at you. Like I said she’s magic and everything in between love and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t love her knowing I had all the power in the world to destroy her. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t love her because she’s not the kind of girl who you just fall in love with. No, she’s the kind of girl who you fall in love with because she makes you see that everyone is equal and that animals do have feelings.

She’s the kind of girl you fall in love with because you love the way she gets along with your mother and your father adores her. She’s the kind of girl who makes you believe in magic. She’s the kind of girl who makes you see that you have all the power in the world to do whatever you want if you believe and try hard enough. She’s the kind of girl who could be broken so easily if you hit the right spots and when you do... when you do break her heart it leaves you feeling every bad word in the dictionary. It leaves you with a bitter taste every time you try and talk about her. It leaves you with nothing but a haunting memory of girl who cares more about everyone and everything because no one cared about her. She is not the kind of girl you wanna fall in love with because when you break her heart you’ll never be able to rid the taste of her strawberry lips from yours. You won’t be able to enjoy summer because it will remind you of the time you both sat under a big oak tree near a pond while she read books to you. She's not the kind of girl you want because when you both part ways and head back home to the grey sheets of your bed it will flash you back to the time you first saw her naked and how you were so scared to touch something so raw and beautiful. She’s not the girl you want to fall in love with because you won’t be able to sleep at night when you part ways because you’re so busy wondering if she is loving someone else.

So you see, she is not the kind of girl you want because she is just too damn magical to be real. Or maybe she is and you shouldn’t take my advice and tell me to go to hell but then again you’ll feel like hell when she cries for the first time because of you. So maybe she is the kind of girl you want but maybe she isn’t. Not because she doesn’t deserve love but because she deserves to be loved right, as if there’s a right way to love. My point is she’s herself and in this lifetime? That is something extraordinary and something that extraordinary deserves to be left wild.

— Leave Her Wild

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Found this on Tumblr long time ago. I found it really sweet and very much like the life I have had experienced and am currently experiencing. I honestly feel so lucky to have experienced this. But more importantly, I heard someone saying this out loud.

I was visiting Nicky because I was invited to speak at a conference. A great time to catch up with him too. He introduced me to his roommate. And when I went to sleep at night, I overheard the roommate telling my friend something along the lines of

She’s the kind of girl you wouldn’t want. Not because she’s ugly because my god she is beautiful.

Gosh, that was really so sweet and incredibly kind. And he talked more about a bunch of things that I don't remembered because I drifted to sleep. But in general, I feel so lucky to have people in the world who sees so much in me and they support me in all sorts of random way to allow me to be "left wild" and let me do my things.

I am so grateful that people are deeply respectful of my choices and my life. I am grateful that people genuinely love and respect me. Since young, I am always conscious about differentiating people who kinda like you vs people who really love you.

It's easy to be kinda liked. The party friends, the people who are only there for the good time and those who are interested in the physical appearance. On the other hand, to be really loved, it's to be open and vulnerable, yet to be accepted for who you are. I only care about people in the latter category.

I'm grateful for the endless support, love and acceptance for who I am. That brings me happy tears every single time. My heart is full and I'm the luckiest mf in the world!

Thanks for allowing me to always be me. And when I made the wrong choice, thank you for still being supportive and being there.

Love,

L