Originally posted on 28 November 2022
Coming from the wisdom of age and nothing else, my advice is this: friends will come and go; some you will grieve, some you will shrug your shoulders at, some you will be relieved to lose; but just know, that around the corner is another soon to be friend waiting to fill the slot. It’s okay to feel upset — allow yourself to grieve.
The idea of travelling and living in multiple countries and cities is always attractive. I’m grateful to have experienced that many times over. One unintended downside is that you lose friends along the way. Turns out, people you see 5 days a week doesn’t automatically mean that they are still friends when you don’t see them 5 days a week.
When I first lost friends when I moved to Hong Kong, I was very upset. Then my dad told me this one thing and I felt better. He said life is like a train and friendship is people who choose to get on the train. But sometimes, some people will get off the train and it’s not your fault. Some people are just there for specific journey in your life.
So I began grieving about the lost friendship, grieving like someone has passed and left my life. A friend that jumped off my train at a train stop is no different than someone who is dead to me. Harsh, but such is life.
The bright side is that you make so many new friends along the way. New friends that understands or new friends that appreciate who you are. I am absolutely in love with my friends for they are the best people in the world, that I am honoured to share a connection with. When one door closes, another opens. I lost many friends from the years of living in Singapore, but gained so many more living in other parts of the world, and travelling around. Long distance friendship is something I deeply appreciate so much.
I’m simply grateful for those friends who continue on my train.