The first love define what home feels like
The second love is what a safe harbour is
The third is a personification of what forever is
Maybe the last one is what being understood is all about
I always believe each time I truly fall in love, the person gives a new definition of what love is. I embrace this experience so much — even if we don’t end up together. They wrote important chapters in my life that give me more meaning and shape to what love is in my world. I carry their lessons with me, as I find the next person that teaches me about love. Perhaps it’s only true love if they manage to redefine what love is. As they all, all the love in the world, never the same love twice.
The first love, I understood what it means to “make homes out of people”. As much as I grew up in a loving home, it’s not the same with its non-family love/home. From his lessons, every other love I found has the first principle of feeling exactly like what home feels like. It’s like travelling for a long time (and I know that because that’s my life) and finally coming home. To drop all guard, thoughts, intentions and simply be me in this home. It’s cosy and warm. It’s a place I can truly be at ease. I’m grateful to have found home in my future loves.
The second one, he defined what safety feels like. I’m always feeling so safe, that’s why I have the courage to go on my entrepreneurship adventures. But this safety was an emotional safety in the presence of a non-family. I could be in my most vulnerable, ugliest and saddest period in my life, and I know he will still be there, protecting me and taking care of me. I’ve never seen someone with patience like his. I’m very guarded in which I rarely let my 100% vulnerable side show, but he made me feel so safe to show all the strange weird sides of me. In dark days, he’s like my lighthouse showing me the direction. The future loves have an ability to calm me down and drop the weight I carry on my shoulders.
The third one feels like what forever feels like. The personification of what forever is. He’s home, safety and forever. I’ve never imagined a forever with someone more than I had with him. I can share my crazy plans and I even alter my plans for him. I’ve never placed someone and the future with that someone at such a high priority in my life before, that I was going to reduce the size of my empire I want to build. Because that forever meant more than anything I’d build on my own. Unfortunately he’s not my forever, and that girl will be so lucky. This feeling of forever is so rare, yet I believe when you know, you know. Your gut just tells it to you. It didn’t work out, but I’m glad I am lucky enough to experience the luxury of this feeling.
And perhaps the last one will be what being understood is about. Like the perfect closure to this adventure, I finally comprehend another quote, “perhaps one is not interested in being in love as much as being understood”. I feel like all my life, I’m searching for someone who simply understands. Maybe the stars align, some day.
I’m excited for later. But now, I’m fully embracing the now.
Love,
L