There is always a good legitimate “prim and proper” reason for doing what people do. But deep down, there is also a bad reason. It is like carrot and sticks. And in life, it is why and dark why.
The good why of why I do what I do is to change the world, change the system, make the world a better place by building a more equitable system. The dark why of why I do what I do is because I despise people who do not live a life great than themselves.
Maybe deep down, I see myself as a sort of saint. Some sort of representation of the universe bringing insights to the world. And it truly disgusts me when I don’t see someone bringing good to the world beyond themselves. I find it uncomfortable and I feel repulsed by such people. I don’t know why. It is just disgusting, like a bag of food trash under the hot sun for 3 days. I am repulsed, disgusted and sick by that thought.
So, I do what I do to move away from that vision I find so disgusting. It is my stick, my fire under my ass that keeps me going when I slack a little. Sure, it puts a fuckton of pressure, but that pressure beats the shame, disgust and disappointment I will feel for myself if I ever reach that state.
As much as we always want to feel good and be motivated by good reasons, sometimes, you need the bad reasons to push you. Sometimes, you are just too comfortable.
So yes, a principle of why I do what I do is that I don’t ever want to become that disgusting, shameful and repulsive loser of a person ever. It literally make me sick in my stomach. To me, that is what I loser is, and I never want to be a loser.
Stay foolish, stay humble, stay grounded.