It’s always weird to notice the difference between how I parent Wesley and how my parents do. I think parenting is simply equipping the child with the right values, methodologies and principles so they can use them to be a value-adding citizen.

Not everyone should be a parent. Most people should never be one. I’ll never get those people who are shitty parents.

Parenting Styles

Anyway, these are values, methodologies and principles I focus on, when parenting Wesley. Wesley is 11 years younger, so I’ve got my hands on parenting Wesley with my parents and Xavier.

• Time management. Time is what you can never get back. Plan your time, use them wisely. TIME TIME TIME
• Think long term. Plan ahead. What do you want at the end. Work backwards to figure out what resources you need to get there.
• Focus on methodology, not outcomes — learning methods, not grades. Passion, not salary options.
• Reflect. What did you do good. What did you do bad. Be critical about your actions. That’s how you improve.
• Work hard. That is what makes the difference. Nothing comes easy. Work hard and you can figure out the rest after.
• Guide, not demand. If Wesley makes a mistake, explain why and teach him better methodology. Not to scold him and demand him to do something he dislikes. Only use the latter if he really misbehaves.
• Choose your circle. Remove negative influence, keep upgrading people around you. Add different segments of people into the circle.
• Prove with actions, not words. If Wesley wants something, he has to prove that he deserves it. Makes slides, show me numbers. Prove why he deserves it.
• Develop more than just grades. Play sports, learn something, explore outside of the classroom. Be a multi-dimensional person. Question everything. Think critically.
• Money management. Save money (my mum is good at teaching this). Now, instead of spending it on airpods and a new iPhone, put that money somewhere to work for you.
• Travel and see the world. Travel abroad, giving him independence, asking him to do things on his own. Question everything.
• Listen to what the inside is saying. Emotional health is more important than grades.
• Pay for value, not price. Look at things from an investment perspective or the value it brings. Research before making a purchase. Check reviews, understand the usefulness. Wesley now researches different sites before deciding to purchase an item.

I hope Wesley will continue to be a good person.

Love,
L